Saturday , February 27 2021
Couples in relationship should learn to initiate talks more than thinking sex

This is how to determine sexual compatibility without having sex.

Consider when People make decisions as this all the time; whether due to absolute virginity, or in some cases, just a decision to abstain from sex till they get married.

For people like this, one of the most difficult things would be the determination of sexual compatibility with their partners.

Obviously, it’s OK to not have sex before marriage, but it’s not cool to not talk or discuss it before then.

relationship bond

The story has once been shared of a bride who was asked by her new husband for anal sex on the very night of their wedding or sometime thereabouts.

This particular couple had both abstained from sex till that wedding night, and when the time came to consummate their union, it occurred that they both had totally different ideas of what sex was meant to be like.

Apparently, the couple in question must surely not have had proper talk about their sexual preferences and towing such line in a sexless relationship could be the deadliest recipe for disaster.

Deciding to not have sex before marriage is not a bad thing, and if that is what you want with your partner, it’s absolutely fine.

Dialogue is nice when dating

But choosing not to ascertain the sexual compatibility between you and your partner before taking such a huge leap as marriage is not advisable. And to determine the sexual common grounds between yourself and your partner without actually doing it, all you need is communication.

Unabashed, unrestricted, honest-to-God conversations. Large doses of it.

You need to ask all the questions imaginable,cover all the possible bases.

It is never enough to limit your talks to banks statements, number of kids, etc, only to relegate sexual compatibility to a place of nothingness. It does not work that way.

Since you will not actually be engaging in the sex, it is only logical to ask and have honest conversations about what that partner sees sex as, and what teases and pleases them, what they can do, what they can’t, and what they can’t do without.

You need to listen to your partner’s opinions on accepting and giving sexual pleasure, and gauge whether you can live up to that expectation or not.

You’ll need to voice out what you find impossible and ridiculous. You also have to be open to bending a bit here, being accommodating a bit there till you both reach a common ground on the subject.

And this applies to both partners.

If you are both comfortable with it, these conversations could be during couples pre-marriage counselling, where you have someone ‘supervising the negotiations.’

Whichever way you want it though, let it be known that sexual compatibility can be deciphered to a large extent without actually having sex if you both will just communicate right.

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12 comments

  1. I don’t even go with this idea, it is better to have sex before marriage. Keeping your virginity till marriage doesn’t gurantee you to being a good wife.

  2. It is people who Accord too much respect to pre-marital sex that end up not knowing their strength and weakness before marriage.

  3. There is nothing really bad in having sex with your partner before marriage since you are sure you are both getting married. But religious people have termed it a grave sin.

  4. Sex before marriage makes the couples closer. Sex is a bond. Infact it is very important to be in atleast one or two relationship before getting married and settling down with ur Mr/Miss right. It boardens your experience on how to handle a relationship before getting into a forever with someone else. Sex before marriage is important.

  5. Sometimes you never know until you feel or experience it. The discussion of sex can make most people very shy and untruthful. But when you both have exchanged energy, you can understand each other’s dislike & likes. Men always love women that have experience when it comes to sex. Don’t bore your sex life because of one religious fanatism

  6. Let’s be guided when it comes to discussions like that. To me it is the mind and agreement on both partners that matters. The only reason I might say someone decides not to have sex before marriage is if she is a virgin. If you are not, my sister you are only deciving yourself. I have even seen occasions that people are dating and refuse to disvirgin their girl based on agreement. At the end of the day, someone else ended up sleeping with that girl and that was how their God-fearing relationship dissolved. Lesson: it is your life and your relationship. Stop letting people tell you what and not what to do. Number one step to failure is giving room for everyone’s opinions to count in your life

  7. Hehehe… Me I no fit marry woman wey I never fuck oo. How can I know we are compatible with just mare talks. Some women are terrible in bed. And there are some men that, after having sex with the woman, the would never want to ever have sex with her again.( Based on personal reasons) infact it is a big necessity for couples to have sex before marriage.

  8. Hahaha… This culture of pre-marital sex is bad is no longer for this generation. It died centuries ago. When these days it is women that are begging men for marriages. Some will even be desperate to have a child from you without getting married to you. And many men these days are not even ready to marry a lady that can’t take in before marriage. Sex before marriage is not a bad thing if it’s with you life partner.

  9. I don’t understand it. You can give your body to other guys that doesn’t deserve you or wants a future with you. Then when it is time to get married, you begin to starve the man who rightfully owns your body. That is total madness. Many men won’t even accept this. And once you start behaving this way, you might end your chances of getting married to him. Not having sex before marriage is infact dangerous.

  10. Aaaah!! I want to marry you and you are telling me to wait. But the other guys you gave them freely. My sister you must be a joker. Even God says “Taste and see that the Lord is good” in his song. I need to see, and feel the good God is giving me. I am not your counselor, so therefore we can’t talk about compatibility we have to undergo practical to know if we are compatible that is the logic. Sex or no marriage.

  11. I swear I am enjoying this blog. Hahaha… It is legit to have Sex with your partner before marriage. Nothing is wrong with that.

  12. O boy it is not okay not to have sex before marriage oo. Even deeper life person go give you reasons why you have to.

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